The age-old question

4 11 2009

So, how did you two meet?

Funny story, actually.

Well… no, it’s not… or maybe it is. I’ll let you decided.

A lot of things that happen in our lives, things that really mean something, often come from doing things we normally wouldn’t do. Some would call this ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’, yet I cannot help but quote Meg Ryan’s sentiments (well, not hers, but her character’s, really) in SLEEPLESS IN SEATLLE: “Destiny is something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens in life is accidental”. Destiny, accident, I’m not going to put a name to it. Let’s just stick to irony.

He winked at me. On Zoosk.

Yes, Zoosk, a Facebook application… Facebook… *sigh* I was never interested in having a Facebook account. A female friend of mine had tried to persuade me, time and time again, that I should get one and join Social Society. I had to rid myself, to a certain extent, of my hermit existence in my res room behind the books, and make some new acquaintances. Then one day, finally, while we were sitting in the photocopying room, I decided to yield to her pleas, and just get it over with. Okay, fine, I had a Facebook account. Now what? Why, add applications through which you can meet people, of course. Splendid…

Now, I must admit that at first I was a bit apprehensive of making a picture of my own personage available for all the Social Society to see. I started by having a picture of a cat as my profile picture (what can I say? I love cats), and then decided to brave the wilderness, where I would surely be ripped to shreds, and use a picture of myself. Aforementioned picture was taken a day or two after I had been severely ill, showing my unflattering sick self (no more unflattering than usual, I talked myself down). Yet it was this picture, wonder above wonders, which caught my Significant Other’s eye.

Right now I’ll own up to the fact that I didn’t really know what Zoosk was about. I thought it was just a regular social chat thing – but no, it was a kind of dating forum. Where guys would see my picture. How neat… Then, on the 9th of January 2008 (I think it was the 9th – it was either the 9th or the 7th, but they’re close enough to one another, so it probably doesn’t matter too much…wait! it was the 9th! I remember!!), Mr Future Significant Other winked at me. I kid you not – all the message said was “Wink-Wink”. And how did I respond? So very, very much unlike myself: “How YOU doin’?” (!!!) How corny is that?? That’s Joey from FRIENDS! I love Joey, don’t get me wrong, but… seriously… did I say that?! Why yes, I did. He asked me to add him as a friend on Facebook, and then we started chatting about this, that and the other. Oh, and I was the first one to start texting. His Facebook status said that the power was out in the building where he worked, so I decided to hear how things were going… Anyway, on Facebook, we started talking about very serious, personal things late one evening, trusting one another with things we had never told anyone else, and yet, it didn’t feel awkward. It was comforting – like coming home, in a way. And right there and then, he ‘told’ me (typed out on the screen):

“I’m going to put it to you this way, you have everything I’m looking for in a woman! Intelligent, Interesting, Ambition, Attractive, Well mannered, Everything… So, what do you say about that?”

I thought I blew it when I responded that I thought it was a truly pleasant compliment, and that I honestly appreciated it. *Hit head against computer keyboard* Stupid, stupid, stupid… That said, we arranged to have coffee was I was back in Stellenbosch, which was on the 29 of January. He came to pick me up at my res, and then we went to Mugg&Bean for coffee. We spent three hours there (and I only had one cup of coffee!) Then we drove back to the res, and spent four (almost five) hours in his car, just talking. There was an instant connection, an attraction so strong, and so unexpected – because I wasn’t really looking for love – that it threw me for a loop. And again, I did things that are totally out of my nature. I placed my hand on his leg. He took it and started playing with it, stroking it with his fingers, as we kept on talking about our loves, loathes, nightmares and dreamscapes. After some time elapsed, I leaned over and kissed his cheek (something I have never, ever done) and thanked him for listening to me, really listening, and not just trying to seem sincere for ulterior motives. He froze for a moment, stunned, perhaps, and I felt like such an idiot… Then he turned his head, and kissed me softly. I kissed back. The kiss became deeper, something so sweet and sensual, like the exotic, forbidden fruits of the gods – I was scared of being struck down by lightning, or cast from his regard as easy or over-eager.

He drew back, his voice hoarse, telling me that he thought that we should take things slow (this coming from the person who told me he was looking for a relationship)… and then he kissed me again. Okay, I think that’s been enough of an over-share. Point is, after that, I saw him every day. I have so many memories, I don’t know where to begin relating them, and it’s scary that I remember dates, outfits, activities, as if they only happened yesterday.

But do you want to hear something really scary?

He told me that he loved me… and we weren’t even a couple yet.

It happened on the evening of the 6th of February, although by that time it was actually very early in the morning on the 7th. We had been talking, lying together comfortably in the dark (no, it’s not what you think – nothing sexual), when he turned to me and said, “I think, I love you”. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t answer. We went to sleep. He dropped me off at my res that morning on his way to work, and I spent the entire day thinking of what he had said. Really thinking about it, about how long we had known one another, and how he had made me feel from the very start. Like I could actually be able to trust someone again, and to trust them completely with my heart, as well. I went to see THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB that evening, and all of a sudden decided, oh f*ckit, why the hell not? It was life-changing. Invigorating. I sent him a message and told him that I had to talk to him, that I had to tell him something. On arrival, I could see that he looked quite apprehensive. He had a drawn look around his eyes and mouth, although he smiled his usual reassuring smile… and as we sat there in the car, I told him that I loved him, too.

The following day, the 8th of February 2008, I changed my Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship”, and here we are today, almost two years later – Engaged. Yes, I was the one to change my relationship status, and yes, I know that he never asked me to be his girlfriend, but I think “I love you” spoke for itself.

I have come to understand that Zoosk has changed quite a lot since I met my Significant Other (I don’t need it anymore, after all). Apparently now you have to collect coins or money of some sort to unlock people’s profiles or messages… or wait, I think you can send a person a message, but then to retrieve and read messages, you need to have ka-ching – virtual money, although you are paying for it (I’m confusing myself) – in order to read what usually turns out to be such mundane things as, “I’m fine, how are you” or things of the like that the person could have done on your Wall or in your Inbox if they had just instead added you as a friend on Facebook.

But enough of that, now. All that is in the past, and I’m glad that, for once, I wasn’t my usual, quiet, bookish self – even hermits need to open the windows now and then to let the light in, or open their door to allow a friendly face to pass through. You never know where that opening of the door could lead to…

From now on, whenever someone asks me how my Significant Other and I met one another, I’ll just tell them to come read my blog. I just won’t tell them which entry.




One response

8 02 2011
Happy 3 years together! « The Skinny on my Jeans (Genes)

[…] I’m not going to tell you the whole story of where we met and how we ended up together – if you really want to know, you can read my blog post “The age-old question“. […]

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