To my future husband’s male friends

25 11 2009

Dear Male Specimens (or does ‘personages’ sound better?)

This is a letter I extend to you not as a threat or with any hateful intent. Thus far we have all gotten along quite well, and I am truly happy that my Significant Other has such great  – no, make that wonderful – male friends. I have seen the way you all are when you are together… although I shall probably never completely understand everything you talk about, since (a) I didn’t go to school with any of you, (b) I am not in the computer industry (or watch South Park that much), and (c) because I am not, as it is obvious, part of the male species.

I must admit that I was a bit shy that first time I met you all, having only officially met my Significant Other (face to face, that is) the day before I was introduced to the rest of you. I know that some of you might have been a bit sceptic about me, since I’m so quiet and reserved. Apparently, at least according to my Significant Other, one of you thought I was stoned or high or just out of it (whatever you want to call it; and no, I have never in my life taken drugs). The thing is, I am an observer. I like to ‘scope’ things out, if you will, and need to feel comfortable before venturing into verbal communication. As almost two years have by now passed, I think it is safe to say that you all know me a bit better (even if I don’t talk much), and hopefully that you all think that I am good enough for your friend.

So now, I shall make a request. It might seem trivial or stupid, even a bit ridiculous or insecure, yet it is something which has been lodged so firmly into my mind due to endless amounts of movies, stories you hear, and even photographs you see on Facebook. Please, please, for my Significant Other’s bachelor party / stag night, don’t take him to a strip club, or hire strippers, or anything like that. I love him dearly, so much in fact that I cannot put it into words (even though they are my forte, if written). In the movie THE WEDDING DATE, Dermot Mulrony tells the groom-to-be that, if you are in love with someone, then you don’t want to look at a hooker. And I would think that this is what it boils down to – why, if you love someone, should your friends (stereotypically, not necessarily you lot I am referring to) find it necessary, no, essential to grant you One Last Night Of Freedom? It makes me nauseous just thinking about it…

And can you blame me? Honestly?

I may not look like much. I may not be gorgeous, or well-endowed in the bosom department, but my Significant Other is my Life – my Soul Mate, the only place where I feel at home, feel safe. No woman likes the thought of her future husband looking at mostly naked girls, downing a lot of booze and having lap dances. How would men like it if women did exactly the same thing on their hen nights? Which happens, nowadays – I’ve seen photographs of women doing pole dancing and drinking insane amounts of shots and hard liquor (sometimes straight from the bottle), and grinding against well-built men who most certainly are not their grooms-to-be. But you see, women aren’t ‘allowed’ to be like that, or to do the same things. It has always been viewed as a taboo, only now Modern Society allows it. Nothing is looked down upon in our current age, it seems.

Yet that doesn’t mean that I have to like it. Or to comply with it, great gods forbid.

I know you might think that my feelings are unfounded. Most men would laugh my comments off and think, “Oh dear, another insecure woman, poor thing”, but at least I have been honest with you. You have all become so valuable to me, and the warmth I feel when I think of you and all the times I have had the privilege of spending with you, of being able to watch and listen to you (notice I say ‘watch’, not ‘study’) really means a lot to me. I am thankful that you have ‘accepted’ me – as far as I know, at least – and that you have all been such true, amazing and unrelenting friends to my Significant Other. May that bond never be broken…

And thus, I bid adieu to you all, and fondly hope that none of you now think of me as a Prude (with a capital ‘P’).

I remain, yours sincerely





3 responses

25 11 2009

Ek’s nogal gelukkig in daai opsig. Niel soek net ‘n braai vir ‘n bachelor party. En hy sal sy voet neersit as dit moet..

25 11 2009

In the all knowing words of Ted Mosby….In every bachelor Party there is a Barney….I hope though that, for your sake. He gets tied and gagged! I hope it all goes off without a Hitch and that you have peace of mind. We boys can be so troublesome at times ;D

25 11 2009
Liske van Lill

i Love HIMYM! 😀

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