Holiday cheer?

2 12 2009

Ha, ha, ha ha ha, ha ha, haaa… No. Not in the least.

As normal as it is for me to break down into hysterical laughter, I don’t want you all to think that I am completely insane… Although I wouldn’t blame you. Apparently, in order to be a writer, you either have to drink, smoke, or keep on snortin’ that crazy cocaine. It’s stereotypical Writers’ Obsessive Compulsions, their Necessary Addictions (‘survival mechanisms’). In that case, I’ll rather opt for my outbursts of hysteria when I am alone. At least that’s safer… right?

So, what has put a damper on my holiday mood? What has made me want to turn to holiday spirits (lame joke, I know)? My younger sister, as always. Don’t misunderstand me. I love my younger sister, I really do. She’s amazing. She can make coffee nervous *laugh* Okay, so maybe I borrowed that line from my favourite film, YOU’VE GOT MAIL, but you know what I mean. It’s not that there is anything wrong with her, per se, but some of her habits that are going to keep on jingling my bells until I shove a bough of holly down her throat… fa la la la la, la la la laaaa…

I am dreading spending my time alone with my sister. She wrote her final high school exam this afternoon, and has commenced to celebrate by playing ‘her’ kind of music at ear-bleeding sound levels from our worn out speakers. ‘Her’ kind of music is what I referred to in my blog entry of 28 November (“Child of the 90s”). So here’s a list of the things I am dreading:

1) She plays her music extremely loud – the thud thud boom bang THUD variety…

2) She is always on her cell phone, either busy typing away (which is most of the time), or talking to personages of the male species (at these times, she usually leaves my room, although I can still hear her fake girly laugh resonating throughout the hall *groan*)

3) She likes the TWILIGHT saga. And HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. She’s going to watch it again while we’re together at home, also loud enough for me to hear every little word and musical note in my room.

4) It’s a real pain, struggling to get her out of bed in the morning. She’ll get up sometime during the course of the afternoon, after I made her breakfast and coffee and all in an attempt to rouse her.

5) We argue. A lot. About almost everything. Sure, it’s a sibling thing, and I suppose it’s a factor I can attribute to my genes – our shared genes, that is. And yet, it always makes me feel like the baddie in the situation. Mostly because she just has this smug way of looking at you, as if she’s the Alpha Dog, the cat’s meow, or some such thing. But hey, I suppose I’m an easy target, as (a) the middle child and (b) a gullible little ‘girl’ who just wants to make everyone happy. Plus I’m quite sensitive. I can cry at the silliest little thing, so be warned if you ever have the opportunity to go see a film with me.

6) PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. I kid you not. My younger sister absolutely adores the film version with Keira Knightly. Even though I cannot stand Ms Knightly, she is not the reason I dislike the film. I dislike it because my sister has watched it ad nausium, ad infinitum, up until a point where I would like to drop the DVD into a blender and whizz the hell out of the thing (while laughing hysterically, of course).

7) Did I mention her music??!

8 ) The prospect of her friends pitching up ‘unexpectedly’. Yeah right, as if I’m going to keep on falling for that. I don’t have time for little kiddies who think they are so cool and awesome, the bloody bee’s knees, as they talk about partying and drinking themselves into a sloppy state, and also about how much they have had to drink at times (id est, how drunk they got) – it’s just disgusting; self-respect, anyone?!

I suppose that’s it. It doesn’t sound that bad, I know, but trust me, if you had to live through it, you’d also be laughing hysterically… I think I need to go find my cat now. Maybe talk to him. I need his psychological influence on my sense of sanity. Plus a bit of kitty lovin’ can always make one feel better. Especially when contemplating murder.

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