Go ahead and cry

13 05 2010

Now is a time – or the time, perhaps – for me to keep my chin up. It’s just a pity that I want to cry the whole time.

When I had to go to the hospital on Tuesday, I decided to take a novel along for a bit of company in the interim before the dreaded operation. As fate would have it, I didn’t just pick up any old book lying on my shelf (well, stacked neatly on the shelf is more accurate) – I took a book I had never read before, hoping that it would at least keep me interested. And boy, did it ever.

I like to read quite a wide variety of books. As such, when I was spending some time with my mum a while back, I couldn’t resist buying myself a pack of books, said ‘pack’ containing three books put together in plastic covering (and for a good price, too). This pack contained two novels of the Chick Lit variety, and it was one of these novels that ended up playing tag-along to the hospital. Never would I have been able to imagine the effect that THE SHOP ON BLOSSOM STREET – by Debbie Macomber – would have on me.

In a nutshell, and not to give too much away, it’s about four diverse females you would never think could become friends, each with their own issues/battles, which becomes entwined and stitched together so intricately and perfectly like the yarn they use in their knitting classes together. From cancer, miscarriages, and unwanted pregnancies to family discomforts, insecurities and attitude or despair, the tale is a quick read that keeps one interested at all times, even if you sometimes feel that things are going to turn out quite predictably.

What got me about the novel, though, is its ‘relativity’ to my life. I’ll be honest enough to admit that, at one point, I was fairly worried about what exactly my headaches meant, what was causing it. Could I have a brain tumour? And what about my ovaries, since they’re polycystic – would I ever be able to mother a child? Would I have to undergo a hysterectomy, or feel the deep-seated pain and shock of a miscarriage? Would I even make a suitable mother? The possible endometriosis scenario has also had me in a bit of a tizzy since seeing a gynaecologist last December. Now I find myself healing after a successful operation, having had endometriosis but also having it removed successfully, and being told by my gynaecologist that there are no problems with my ovaries, that everything is normal, that I have nothing to worry about.

With all of this happening, and the operation having been two days ago, can you blame me for getting all teary-eyed over a bit of silly Chick Lit?

I think that, most of all, I’m just thankful that everything is going to be okay… for now, at least. I get awful shoulder and chest pains, my pants sit too tightly because I’m bloated (and swollen), and finding a comfortable way to get up from wherever I’m sitting (or even trying to lie down properly) isn’t proving to be easy. It’s frustrating, it hurts, and I simply want it to be over.

But you know what?

I haven’t had a headache since coming out of the hospital Tuesday evening. After 7 years of headaches, I haven’t had one for two days now. Things are going to work out just fine, so I’ll cry as much as I want to, because finally, after so long, these are tears of joy.

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2 responses

13 05 2010
Matan Uberstein

😀 Gotta love those tears of joy!!! :””)

14 05 2010
Tweets that mention Go ahead and cry « The Skinny on my Jeans (Genes) -- Topsy.com

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Liske van Lill. Liske van Lill said: Go ahead and cry: http://wp.me/pt7Yn-6x […]

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