Every now and then I fall apart

31 05 2010

Why do chicks cry so much?

It’s something I don’t quite understand fully. Sure, women are more in touch with their emotions, and it is our ‘feminine’ side that – allegedly – causes us to cry. Giving over to emotion is no picnic in the park, as most of us know, and the vulnerability of crying (not in the case where you are crying due to a surplus of humour-induced laughter) can be somewhat embarrassing and even degrading at times.

Men are lucky. Most of them only cry at funerals, or when something has really, really touched them deeply. I’m not saying all men cry at funerals, of course, yet it is difficult not to shed a tear when a good friend or loved one/ close relative passes away. Some men cry on their wedding day upon seeing their beautiful bride. Others cry tears of joy when a child is born, or tears of happiness after a successful operation and recovery. Note, thus, how men mostly only cry when it is deemed ‘appropriate’ – when it comes to those people in their lives who are closest to and mean the most to them.

Women, on the other hand, can cry at the slightest thing. I cry fairly easily, so if a novel or film ‘gets’ to me, don’t be surprised if I shed many a silent tear. But seriously: I can cry at almost anything. I even cried the first time I watched the film 300 (!!)… and I sobbed quite a bit when Ray the firefly dies in THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG. That’s how big a ‘sissy’ I am.

Last night was another case in point.

I haven’t been feeling well lately. No specific reason, I suppose, just a general kind of ‘off’-ness. Of course, one could argue that I still feel a bit messed-up, relieved, hurt (i.e. in physical pain) and many other emotions after the laparoscopy. Not being able to find a job for 7 months already, as well as feeling unsure about in which direction my life is heading, doesn’t help how I am feeling, either. As such, while I was sitting in front of my laptop last night, I made a huge mistake: I decided to listen to Westlife’s latest CD. Oh goodness… how the tears came flooding then…

I just couldn’t help myself. After a while Smudgy actually wanted to lie down on my lap (a rarity, I assure you), and the therapeutic stroking of my cat helped me feel better, but also had me crying more. No reason – merely stupid female sensibility. Ooh, I’m so sensitive, I’m so emotional, I’m listening to sad music and I just cannot stop myself… Wow, are all women like this?! I ended up going through all the Westlife albums I have on my laptop – yes, I have all of them – and listened to all their ‘classic’ sad songs: MISS YOU NIGTS, TONIGHT, WHEN A WOMAN LOVES A MAN, UNBREAKABLE, ANGEL… and their entire Love Album. THE ROSE always causes a weepy, teary-eyed state to overtake me. Yes, I know it’s originally sung by Bette Midler, but for some inexplicable reason, it’s the Westlife version that gets me all choked up.

Theirs, or my younger sister singing it. Seriously.

My younger sister once performed at a talent evening while she was still in high school (either last year or the year before that, I’m not sure), and decided to sing THE ROSE. I was sitting up on the balcony with my mum and dad, feeling disgusted and appalled by the students’ behaviour, waiting for it all to be over – my dad was videotaping it – when my sister started to sing. And just like that, tears in my eyes.

Another reason ‘why’ women cry, is because they are hormonal… which means, from a biased (often male) point of view, we cry because we’re more fragile and irritable at a certain time of the month. PMS? Are you serious?! Just because I do have my period, or you believe me to, doesn’t mean that I am definitely, for sure, most certainly going to cry more and due to the slightest thing… *roll eyes*

Yet one thing I cannot deny makes many of us, both men and women, feel sad and as a result causes tears is death. Especially when it is unexpected and sudden. Shakespeare wrote, “Death, where is thy sting?” And now I answer: found in the hearts of those left behind.

It is with great sadness that I tell my readers that my older sister’s father-in-law died of a heart attack yesterday morning. So much confusion is left in the wake of death-come-suddenly, and one can only hope that the love and support of others can help to ease the mourning, grief, and seemingly slow and painful passage of time that the family left behind now faces.

Love and cherish those close to you - you never know when they might be gone forever...




3 responses

31 05 2010
Morris Uberstein

Good reading, well written and thoughtful

31 05 2010
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1 06 2010

I’m sorry about your sister’s father-in-law. Sudden deaths are hard to deal with.

And I’m also sorry you haven’t been feeling well. Sometimes we just get stuck in funks. Maybe you’re just in a funk.

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