Dragonball Z: noise-fest and time waster extraordinaire

8 07 2010

Oh, the foolishness of childhood – oh, the naïveté of youth.

I’ll be honest enough to say that, when we’re younger, we don’t really know any better when it comes to our choice of viewing pleasure. Sure, one would expect children to watch cartoons, and since your basic television channels have just that to offer during weekday afternoons and weekend mornings, that works pretty well. But sometimes, kids simply aren’t aware of just how stupid their programmes are.

It entertains them, so what does it matter?

I mentioned in an earlier post that I am currently re-watching the entire DRAGONBALL Z series*. (*This does not, of course, include DRAGONBALL, which came before it, or DRAGONBALL GT, which follows it up.) I never followed the series ‘religiously’. My younger sister liked to watch it, so some afternoons I would go sit down with her and see how things went on the show – on these occasions, I didn’t have much to do, what with my homework already completed, and me wanting to relax for a bit. I pretty much stayed for the entirety of the Cell saga, but before and after that, things are pretty hazy. Yeah, right, I remember Boo, who came later on, yet even that is mostly foggy. What I do remember, however, is that a lot of it I found extremely dumb.

And here I am now, watching all of it over again. Boy, are there some things about the show that really irks me.

Vegeta is my favourite character, although yes, he is pretty selfish and mean and arrogant and downright completely full of it. So even though one cannot really understand him – or perhaps you can, with the race he comes from, how he was raised, what he believes, his resulting delusions (of grandeur, most likely), et cetera – he still adds a lot to the show. There is one character who bugs the living daylights out of me, and if you’ve ever ventured to watch the show, you’ll know who I’m talking about: Gohan.

He must be the most pathetic character I have ever come across. I know that he’s still pretty young, and maybe that entitles him to being more scared than any of the others, but really – come on, he is absolutely pathetic. He cries more often than not, doesn’t want to do anything, stands around gawking, and only when he gets right royally p*ssed off does he do anything… for all of ten seconds, that is.

That’s another thing I don’t understand: why does everybody stand around with their mouths open all the time, allowing only one person to fight and suffer against the enemy, not taking openings when they are blatantly there that’ll enable them to finish off their opponent? It really gets under my skin… In a twenty minute episode, about seventeen minutes are spent with the characters’ mouths open, making disbelieving noises, or having people scream and grunt and stretch their eyes even further. It’s one big noise-fest, that’s all there is to it. [And that little porcelain doll emperor thingy that trains with and constantly hangs around Tien – what’s that all about?! He freaks me out.]

One day is stretched out over thirty, even forty episodes, and then months – and, at times, even years – go by in about two minutes in an episode (okay, sometimes it’s more than that, but only one episode at most). Take, for example, when Goku was battling Frieza, and there was only one minute left before the entire planet of Namek was going to explode. One minute… and they stretched it out over a couple of episodes. My Significant Other tried to argue that perhaps a Namekian minute is longer than a normal ‘earth’ minute, yet I doubt that that is the case. I just think that the writers of the show are able to get away with it because kiddies aren’t really focused on the time and the way it works/ is supposed to elapse like I am – they just want to see good conquer evil, Goku beat Frieza, things be resolved before the planet explodes and all hope is lost.

When you’re a kiddie, what more could you want?

Yet despite all my complaints, here I am, having watched over a hundred episodes already, and planning to see things through and watch the rest of them. Even though I cannot stand Gohan. Even though I see the openings and know that the villains can be dealt with much quicker if they only used their bloody heads. And even though I simply cannot fathom how someone like Garlic Junior is able to have henchman named Ginger, Salt, Vinegar, and Spice, unless he gave them new names, or everyone on their planet is named in the same fashion… if, that is, they all even come from the same planet. Leave it to the show’s creators to act all clever.




One response

3 08 2010


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