Chocolate: (delicious) over-the-counter drug

23 08 2010

     I love chocolate.

     I am a woman, after all… even though I don’t crave chocolate every single day, and I know that I can go a week (or more) without it – it’s useless calories, after all. No matter how ‘happy’ they make you feel (at first).

     When women (a) want to indulge/ treat themselves, (b) get upset – crying may or may not be included, (c) feel down, (d) hear good news, (e) are in the mood for dessert… oh, wait. Basically, at any time at all, most women will opt for chocolate. The question, of course, is why. Sure, they’re filled with antioxidants and get those endorphins pumping, causing the ‘happy’ trigger in your brain to lift a few notches. But afterwards, a lot of women end up feeling guilty, griping about the kilojoules and getting fat and having to exercise as a consequence.

     Apparently, chocolate contains a chemical called phenylethylamine, something that is released into your brain when you fall in love. No wonder women feel that Chocolate = Love, and vice versa. That’s probably why men present the object of their affection with chocolate as a symbol of their love… usually with roses, which also contain phenylethylamine.

     When Ke$ha sings that “your love is my drug”, we can replace “your love” with “chocolate” and understand that yes, indeed, we were right all along – we cannot help our addiction to chocolate, because it is enticing and intoxicating, a wide-spread drug that is sold almost everywhere, openly. It’s enough to get you obsessed… and that’s why you always want more: enough is never enough; no matter how much of it you get, that fix isn’t enough – you’re always itching for another shot of silky smooth ecstasy.

     This is why (studies allege) women prefer chocolate to sex.

     After intercourse, you’re body produces/ emits endorphins, which is exactly what happens when you eat chocolate. With chocolate, at least, less effort is required… and it is always satisfying. Of course, presenting your lady with chocolate would be a smart move, since it can work as an aphrodisiac, and then get her in the mood to thank you for the ‘thoughtful’ gift. However, this can be said of sex: unlike chocolate, you don’t really have to worry about moderation. You can have as much as you like, and it’s healthy to boot. [Please note: I’m not trying to promote sex. This is just some findings from articles I’ve read here and there, as well as people’s opinions.]

     Women crave chocolate more than men do, whereas with sex it’s the other way around (in most cases). Chocolate makes women feel ‘empowered’ – by giving or receiving chocolate, it makes you feel loved and cared for (and yes, on the flipside, it’s sex that makes men feel powerful and satisfied). One thing men and women seem to have in common when it comes to chocolate, is that both love dark chocolate, which is a good thing, since this variety in particular contains chemicals that may lower your risks of getting cancer or heart disease… although, naturally, just because you’re eating chocolate doesn’t guarantee you won’t get it – it’s just one of those little factoids you can use to your advantage and defend your chocolate eating habits: it’s healthy *nom nom nom* It’s a mood enhancer, a natural drug and an illness preventer *wolfs down 200g slab*

But I’m bored with the topic now, so I won’t go any further into it. All I know is that, strangely enough, I prefer a nice packet of Sparkles sweeties above chocolate. They’re tasty, good to have with you for a bit of sugar, and no threat to your hips and waistline/diet (since you probably won’t finish a whole packet in one go like a slab).

     Here a list of the top 30 reasons why chocolate is better than sex (not my words!!); if you want a longer list – 125 reasons in all – click here. Have a happy Monday, everyone!


  1.  You can GET chocolate.
  2.  “If you love me you’ll swallow that”; has real meaning with chocolate.
  3.  Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
  4.  You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
  5.  You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
  6.  If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won’t mind.
  7.  Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
  8.  The word “commitment” doesn’t scare off chocolate.
  9. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
  10. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
  11. You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
  12. With chocolate there’s no need to fake it.
  13. Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant.
  14. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
  15. Good chocolate is easy to find.
  16. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
  17. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
  18. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbours awake.
  19. With chocolate size doesn’t matter; it’s always good.
  20. A chocolate never forgets to tell you they liked you better with long hair.
  21. A chocolate never snaps your bra or pinches your bum.
  22. Chocolate can stay hard for a week, and satisfies even when it has gone soft.
  23. You can safely have chocolate while driving.
  24. You can have chocolate on your desk without upsetting your workmates.
  25. “If you love me you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate.
  26. It’s easy to find 9 inches of chocolate.
  27. Chocolate doesn’t make you preggers.
  28. You don’t have to wait until half-time to talk to your chocolate.
  29. You won’t find out later that your chocolate is married.
  30.  You won’t find out later that your chocolate is on penicillin.

My Significant Other should get himself one of these...




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23 08 2010
Bingo Players & Chocolate Puma – Touch Me [Bart B More Remix] | | US Government Grants for Free!

[…] Chocolate: (delicious) over-the-counter drug « The Skinny on my … […]

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