Dear *(fill in the blank)*-jokes

25 01 2011

Hullo faithful readers!

I apologize most profusely for not blogging since… wow… it’s almost been a week already, hasn’t it? *slightly embarrassed face*

I don’t really have a good excuse. I’ve been spending my time reading… Oh, wait – that’s a pretty good reason to me!! 😉 I’m having lots of fun reading on my NOOK, and I’ve become so used to it that I wonder how it’ll feel to read a ‘real’ book again. I actually started reading Glenn Cooper’s THE TENTH CHAMBER yesterday, bought myself the book (a ‘real’ book, at a bookstore), yet I cannot seem to get into the story… which is kind of sucky, since I’ve been longing to read it after finishing his first two books in August :-/

Anyway, it’s pretty darn hot over here. Feels like my brain is turning into mush. So, instead of typing out an entire post (i.e. blogging myself), I’m going to post some jokes I received in my e-mail inbox from my older sister. Hope you all have a lovely Tuesday!

(Corny/ lame, I know...)

Dear people who say they’re a ninja when they catch things after dropping them

 

Ninja’s don’t drop things.

Sincerely, a ninja

Dear Lady Gaga

It’s okay. I have a st-tuttering problem too.

Sincerely, P-p-p-porky the P-p-pig

Dear old men at the gym

Wearing short shorts does not make your manhood look any more attractive.

Sincerely, the world

Dear Peter Pan

Sneaking around a child’s bedroom and inviting them to Neverland? Been there, done that.

Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear 16 and pregnant

Thanks for helping me feel better about my life.

Sincerely, 21 and single

Dear man in the car picking his nose

Please realize that just because you are in your car doesn’t mean that you are hidden from the world.

Sincerely, I can see you

Dear skin-coloured band aids

Please make one for every skin colour.

Sincerely, black people

Dear future employer

Please ignore those Facebook photos from college. I can explain.

Sincerely, misbehaved

Dear optimist

That’s not a light at the end of a tunnel, that’s the train.

Sincerely, pessimist

Dear girls making kissy faces on MySpace and Facebook

There’s a reason we close our eyes when we kiss.

Sincerely, boys

Dear Cupcakes

The fact that you cover yourselves up with icing says a lot about your self-esteem.

Sincerely, Muffins

Dear Cat

Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever ‘The Circle of Life’ plays.

Sincerely, a Lion King enthusiast

Dear Fox News

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear Short People

No I don’t play basketball, do you play miniature golf?

Sincerely, tall people

Dear Noah

We could have sword you said the ark wasn’t leaving ‘til 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have not blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

Sincerely, anonymous

Dear America

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada

Dear boyfriend

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely, spiders

Dear Voldemort

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear Yahoo

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” Just saying…

Sincerely, Google

Dear girls who have been dumped

There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.

Sincerely, BP

Dear Justin Bieber

Ariel would really lover her voice back.

Sincerely, King Triton

Dear Rose

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

Sincerely, Jack

Dear windshield wipers

Can’t touch this.

Sincerely, that little triangle

Dear Taylor Swift

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare

Dear Saturn

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God

Dear Rubik’s Cube

Done!

Sincerely, colour-blind

Dear Santa

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho’s.

Sincerely, Tiger Woods

Dear boys wearing skinny jeans

I… Can’t… Breathe…

Sincerely, your balls

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4 responses

25 01 2011
Sophia

Hahahahahahaha! Dis so funny ek moes n comment los 🙂
Hoop nie jy gee om dat ek n paar steel nie, dit moet net gedeel word

25 01 2011
Liske van Lill

Dis doodreg 🙂 My ouer suster stuur altyd sulke tipe goed vir my, so ek moet dit net af en toe deel hier op my blog!

25 01 2011
Liebe

Dis ‘n plesier 🙂 Ek kry die oulikste grappies via BBM. Lief jou! xx

25 11 2011
MEGANKATHLEEN

haha thats great. i legit search those jokes ongoogle, cuz i have no life.
but still. not the point. lol 🙂

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