Today’s word: depression/ depressed

17 02 2011

I’m feeling it again… the depression…

Unhappiness, despair, sadness, downheartedness, misery, hopelessness, melancholy, dejection, gloominess – yeah, pretty much all of that.

I’m depressed, unhappy, miserable, blue, disheartened, despondent, dejected, down in the dumps… discouraged to say the very least.

And why, you might ask?

Because the internship ended on the 13th of January, and I am the only one out of the total ten ex-interns that has yet to be employed. I am, in other words, the only one that is JOBLESS.

Spell it out: J-O-B-L-E-S-S-.

If that’s not enough to depress you, then I don’t know what is.

I’ve done some ‘personal’ freelancing – personal in the sense that I’ve done a translation for my future father-in-law and proofread & copy-edited a friend’s 250-page Masters thesis. Yesterday I signed up on the PASA (Publishers’ Association of South Africa) freelancers database, though I have yet to hear from them. The one or two jobs that I have applied for have resulted in fruitlessness… and it’s likely that, upon hearing how I won’t be available for about three weeks in May due to my honeymoon, nobody will want to employ me.

This after my hard work, efficiency, can-do attitude, no complaints about my work whatsoever… and just wanting to feel like I’m doing something worthwhile for the industry.

After sitting at home feeling very depressed for eight months after completing my Honours, and after six wonderful months at a great publisher and amazing publishing team, I am back to the drawing board: I have been at home for just over a month now, again unemployed, and the prospects are not looking too peachy-keen.

Although having an income (no matter how small it may be) would be great, since I feel like the biggest leech ever for not paying for the rent or groceries or even the payment on my own study loan, the fact of the matter is that I feel lazy because I am at home doing nothing – I feel like I’m wasting my time, that my talents are becoming ‘dulled’ and that the lack of accomplishing something in the workplace will somehow set me back later when I actually am employed again. After all, how bad does it look on one’s CV that you haven’t worked for months? Do they actually care that you have been putting in a lot of effort to search and apply for jobs? *laugh* Please…

But that’s enough of a rant from me. Guess I’ll just go back to my reading… I already baked oats cookies this morning (at 6AM, actually) – let’s see what else I can get up to.

Oh, wait, is that the bed calling to me? Gosh, it’s noon – should I take a nap? *zzzzzz*

I live with my Significant Other - but he's got the gist of it.

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2 responses

17 02 2011
Matan Uberstein

I hate that word .. depression .. I believe that your mood can be adjusted by thinking correctly/positively. Yes, job wise things are looking a bit bleak at the moment, but better days will come. All you need to do is stay positive and NOT depress yourSELF by look at others. In all fairness, 95% of world is worse off than you, you are intelligent, beautiful and have a knack with words. All it takes is patience, hard work and the right attitude. 🙂

17 02 2011
Today's word: depression/ depressed « The Skinny on my Jeans (Genes) : Depression Page

[…] More: Today's word: depression/ depressed « The Skinny on my Jeans (Genes) […]

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