Message Sessions I

7 03 2011

Dear Hypocrite

You may have deeply hurt my feelings by attacking my personality while acting caring (in your drunkenness) and telling me that the people there weren’t my friends – but I don’t think I’m the one with the problem. I was at the birthday party because I wanted to be there, not because I was doing anyone a favour. Just remember that you’re the one who said that nobody there was your friend (you even listed a few names) and then turned around to go gossip with them.

Insincerely,

Odd one out yet proud of it

—–

Dear Smudgy

Thank you for being so cute lately. Everyone thinks you’re gorgeous and full of personality. Plus you actually seem to love me and allow me to pick you up and hold you for more than a few seconds, which is far better than being ignored or bossed around. Just one request: could you ease up just the teensiest bit with the meowing?

Love,

Your human mommy

—–

Dear visa office

I’m glad that the appointment this morning wasn’t as gruelling as I imagined (think big room with little furniture and a harsh interrogative style). You made things go both smoothly and quickly… So please see to it that our applications are accepted… Pretty please? I really really really want to go to Scotland – and making someone’s dream come true is the right thing to do… Right?

Fingers crossed

Castle enthusiast

—–

Dear stress [also known as OCD]

You’re always there, no matter how subtle or obtrusive and bursting at the seams. However, you’re not doing too much damage at this point to my nervous system, and I’d like us to stay on a good footing, so could you do me a favour and keep it that way? I assure you that there’ll be plenty of time in the not-too-distant future (like directly after the honeymoon) to get me all worked up about things like finding a job, debt, and many more excruciating aspects.

Nervously,

Someone who wonders if she should start drinking coffee again

—–

Dearest Significant Other

I love you. You are absolutely wonderful – we’ve been together for more than three years, and in two months’ time we’ll be married (give or take a few hours). I must warn you, though, that as it was your idea to write our own vows, something which you are now placing entirely upon me since you’re ‘not good with words’ and ‘not a writer like me’, I just might take a friend of mine’s advice and put in a vow that you have to do all the housework or something to that extent. You do realize that you’re giving me carte blanch, right? How’s this: “To have many chores to do and to hold all the household responsibilities (&blame!!)”

Just kidding,

Your adoring almost-wife ❤

—–

Dear weight

All I ask of you is to drop with two or three (maybe four) kilograms in order for everything to be hunky dory when it comes to my wedding dress – is that so much to ask?!

Watching you,

Less nom nom nom-ing

—–

Dear Libby and Addy

If I had a choice (and I know that I don’t and never will have one), I wouldn’t have chosen two others sisters, because out of all the girls/ women on earth, you’re the ones I’d rather be stuck in the middle with (if you catch my no-I’m-not-the-youngest-I’m-actually-the-second-out-of-three-daughters drift… what a mouthful!)

Hugs,

Lily

—–

Dear NOOK

Since I’m actually a book-in-my-hand lover, kudos to you for giving me the ‘real book’ experience. Now I just need people to send me some Barnes & Noble gift cards so I can buy more books (*hint-hint*)… I don’t want to spend the money on my Significant Other’s credit card. That’d simply make me feel like I’m taking advantage of him. You’re (t)E-rrific!

Reading in earnest,

Slightly ‘converted’ book lover

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