Teacher’s Pet

I feel like such a horrible person.

It’s probably nothing, really, but I promised myself that I would blog at least every second day, in order for me to not get lazy and to keep my writing mind active. I was planning on blogging last Friday evening, but then my Significant Other tells me he thinks we should drive somewhere the weekend. As in, let’s drive all the way somewhere far on Saturday, stay over for the night, and then take the long drive back the following day. Okay, let’s do that. This he decides around 9:30PM or thereabouts. We found a place to stay, made the four-hour trip over there, and I suppose I could get really nostalgic about this if I wanted to, but I want to blog about something else, so to put it shortly and sweetly: we got engaged that Saturday evening. But, again, I did not have access to the internet, as my laptop was at his flat, which is why I couldn’t blog on either Saturday or Sunday.

Now, this week I’ve been busy with my final week at university. I only have two classes this week. One was an online discussion yesterday, where I tapped my brain for original ideas and responses to other people’s essay abstracts. I felt like a theoretical/literary machine. Today we have our final poetry class, and then it’s almost time to say goodbye to my beloved university…

I’ve come to realize how, to a certain extent, I have become a sort of “teacher’s pet” in the department this year. This is not necessarily a bad thing, of course, but I must admit that it does make me feel a bit bizarre. I’m a deadline freak. I admit that. I suppose that’s another way in which I am obsessive compulsive. I always hand things in way before a deadline; I bombard my lecturers with e-mails concerning classes, essays, deadlines, anything I feel might help me to not be a nervous wreck later in the semester. I’ve already handed in my Creative Writing portfolio, which is only due next Friday; I have finished an essay that is due on the 2^nd of November, and I am currently busy with an essay that is due on the 6^th of November (and I have already done my research and typed out the quotations I might possibly want to use)… All that said, I suppose it’s no wonder that they’ve all started talking about me.

Examples: I had a Creative Writing class with the South African writer Russel Brownlee last year. This year, he was one of the ‘lecturers’ in our Creative Writing elective. He knows me, so he constantly refers to me in class, to the type of work I’ve done, always asking my opinion or to read to the class what I have written… And we get along quite well. He even told me that he looks forward to seeing my name on a book someday (…him and me both…) The coordinator of our Creative Writing class, Shaun Viljoen, has also referred to me in class – when poet/writer Finuala Dowling showed up to do poetry with us, he told her that I had read some of her poetry. She, in turn, has been very impressed with my work, and has only suggested two or three changes in two of my poems. When a lady from Oxford University Press came to give a talk on the publishing industry, Annel Pieterse (who works in the department) told her that I was very interested in publishing, and that I want to work in that field… Then there’s Jeanne Ellis, an absolutely brilliant, lovely woman who taught me in my undergrad years, but with who I also had an elective at the beginning of this year (about the Victorian novel; out of all the texts we dealt with, Bleak House was my favourite). I’ve struck up a bit of a friendship with her, as she is so personable and sincere. I even bought her chocolates once and gave her a hand-made card (which I did in a kind of Victorian style, to match the elective we had)… I went to pay her a visit on Tuesday, and  she actually told me how impressed the people in the department are with me. Apparently they were busy discussing me and how I am always asking questions and early with deadlines and working so hard and efficiently throughout the year that I have quite amazing time-management skills. Isn’t that interesting… Plus I had my research project done really early, way before everyone else (who all asked for extensions…)

I might not be at the top of the class, but my marks are pretty good, and I do try my utmost best to manage my time efficiently. It’s a way of easing my entire mindset into the ‘real world’ of work that awaits me next year. I know how to cope with deadlines; I can work on more than one project/essay at a time, and as soon as I get something to do, I go do research on it before I forget and then have to worry about it later. In that case, I don’t think it’s all that bad to be a sort of teacher’s pet… or departmental pet, if you want to put it that way… but really, to be honest, I think I would get annoyed with myself at times. How many e-mails and queries can one really take?

[This picture was taken last Halloween… hey, I was at home, and I had nothing better to do, so why not dress up like a cat?? Although, I must admit, I also did that in my first year at university… the only difference is, I went to write a history exam like that…]

Reflective Remembering

I couldn’t sleep last night.

Which is saying something, in itself. I used to sleep very little, almost bordering on insomnia, yet lately there has been in influx in my sleep quotient. It has a lot to do with my migraines, and the medication I was on for a while – because of it, all I wanted to do was sleep… But last night, after having finished my short story (thirty-three A-4 pages) for my Creative Writing portfolio, I decided to call it an early night. That was 00:30. By 02:00, I was still awake, listening to an owl hooting outside my bedroom window. I’ve had many, many pigeons around, as there is a large tree directly outside my window, and some squirrels, too. Yet this is the first time that I have had the pleasure of an owl’s company. Just my luck – in two more weeks, I’ll be leaving the residence for good.

When I woke up this morning, it was still early. I debated whether to try sleeping some more, but as I knew that it would be futile anyway, I got up after about five minutes. It was 06:06. By 07:07 I was already out of the dorm and on my way to the printing room (that makes it sound a lot fancier than it really is, but oh well). It’s supposed to be summer over here. Guess nobody told the weatherman. Monday we had icy cold conditions and a cacophony of rain (‘cacophony’, yes, because it sounded so loud, creating an air of disharmony). Tuesday brought unbearably humid weather, which didn’t help my head much. Yesterday it was sunny again – at times very warm, yet in the late afternoon settling into a pleasant chill, which means that I could wear my ‘comfy jersey’ while working. It’s a grey schoolgirl jersey, actually, age 13-14… but whoever designed those things most definitely got the proportions wrong! For although I am somewhat petite, I am still a bit ‘bigger’ (awful word) than a thirteen year old, and the jersey is too large on me! Makes it look like I lost two dress sizes… Anyway, let’s get to today’s weather.

Today is cold. Blissfully, lovingly cold. In the summer. *sigh* I’m not one for warm weather. Give me autumn and winter of a sprightly spring or sanguine summer’s day anytime. Give me rain, coffee, blankets, a KitKat, the heater, and my beautiful black cat – keep your exhaustive heat, sweat-stains, bouts of dizziness and the inability to be just cool enough. I don’t mind. Today: crisp and cool, with the new green leaves blowing briskly down Victoria Street. It’s the times like these that I’ll miss the most. I was walking outside at 07:07, with only two other people in sight, feeling the breeze’s refreshing kiss on my face, as slowly it started to rain ever so slightly.

I know the path to the printing room well. I’ve spent the last four years walking that path, from Harmonie to the Arts building, jogging up the three, five, or six flights of stairs, depending where I want to be, and thinking on quite a few occasions that I am rather unfit. Four years of watches the squirrels come and go, noticing how, strangely, Morning Squirrel trudges about while Afternoon Squirrel bounces jauntily to wherever it needs to be. Perhaps Afternoon squirrel is actually Morning Squirrel after having had a sufficient amount of coffee? In that case, Honours students (among whom I currently count) will never be associated with squirrels: coffee doesn’t have that effect on any of us anymore… Oh yes – four years of academic deadlines, stress, developing great time-management skills, and reading countless amounts of prescribed text books (along with their accompanied readings). Spending time at the Neelsie’s smoking area just to see my one friend; watching the guys from Wilgenhof hanging out of their bedroom windows and parading across the building’s roof in only their underwear, blaring the latest hit song from their sound system; mastering the art of dodging cars, making lecture notes, and finally overcoming my cravings for buying those chocolate squares at the tuck-shop in the Arts building…

There are so many memories, so much more I could share with you. Going out in second year with my then-roommate to buy pizza at Romans while changing the lyrics of Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend”, and late-night trips driving around the mountain, gazing out over the sea, with my then-boyfriend (having either coffee or, more often, having hot chocolate from Wild Bean) stand out. Still having the ability to drink four mugs of coffee in a row during exam time in my first year comes up, as well… Plus the beautiful black-birds with the orange tipped wings… Not to mention (and I promise this is the last thing!) the statue of the kêffie kat in front of the town hall 🙂

No matter where I go from here, I’ll always love this place. Always… although I won’t miss the pigeons. Bloody hell, no!

Why I LOVE Dr Daniel Roux

So my supervisor this year for my research project was Dr Daniel Roux… *internal squeal of pleasure*

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I have or ever had a crush on my lecturer and supervisor. But there’s one thing I have to say about him: he’s funny. Probably, sometimes, unintentionally, and even dryly or arbitrarily, yet funny and extremely witty nonetheless… in my opinion, at least.

I don’t know if he’s going to read this blog entry or not; I’d wager a guess that ‘not’ is more likely. Lecturers are busy people, and besides, why would one of them choose to read one of their (almost former) students’ blog? Still, on the off-chance that he is going to read (or possibly at this very moment is reading) it – hullo, Daniel! *blush*

That aside, I just felt that I had to share some of the memorable quotes I have collected from our Modern Theory classes with him. Yes, it’s almost the end of the second semester, and we had Modern Theory with him in the first semester. Time has elapsed, and I have posted this on Facebook at an earlier stage. But I would like to add this to my blog: because everyone needs a laugh 🙂 Not at the expense of Dr Roux, but thanks to him. He has been a great support throughout the year, and has patiently read many of my rambling, paranoid, blahblah et cetera e-mails. In this way, I can pay homage, although I’m not quite sure how he’d take it…

Here are the quotes – enjoy! Please note: everything placed in square brackets [ ] are my personal comments or observations.

Some quotes from the HonsBA(Eng) Modern Theory class:

* Literature, as pure entertainment, can help us to escape… as in, ‘oh fuck, I can’t bear it anymore’…

* I once sat on someone’s antique coffee table thinking it was a chair… and it broke.

* It’s a kind of hubris to say we’re not animals.

* Armadillos always have four identical young of the same sex.

* My parents named me after an alcoholic grandfather whom they didn’t like…

* The idea of the Self can paralyze the body.

* There’s a weird bleeding of reality into the text…The mother of a famous actress [her name escapes me now] was watching a film on television when her water broke, then decided to name her daughter [the actress] after the character.

*There is a world behind the mirror!

*I want my-ghurt… [what he overheard a child saying who wanted yoghurt; but since that “yo” sounds like the Afrikaans word for “you”, and the little boy was Afrikaans speaking, he wanted “MY”-ghurt… ;-p ]

* We lose the jouissance of self-recognition.

* The moment you speak a law you can break it. That’s why such obvious things like “don’t have sex with animals on the school grounds” aren’t in school rules. It just might make you think, hmm, animal husbandry, iiiinteresting… 😉 = The moment you prohibit something, you create the possibility – the rule invites its own transgression.

* We are continuing the myth… [cue dramatic music]

* …fat and happy on the barge of life…

* If the Other has it [jouissance] and you don’t, it’s because they stole it from you! We have to protect ourselves from others – we’re living in a more and more paranoid society.

* It’s our duty to enjoy our drives and superego.

* This wasn’t a useful seminar, let’s just all go home… [puts head on table, and dramatically says] I’m sorry, I’m sorry…!

* Hmm, the sinister eroticization of knowledge…

* I have a penis… whoo… so what.

* Bodies do things – they get sick they get aroused…… what else do bodies do? … they die!

* My mother desperately wanted me to be gay. I had to break the tragic news to her at age 17 that I was not, in fact, gay… My mother just didn’t like straight men very much. She had high hopes for me…

* For Freud, something goes wrong if you’re a lesbian, basically.

* Sex itself is simply trauma.

* Sex and death kind of define our identity…we’re just born into this condition.

*I brought you some snacks to apologize for last week’s class…and also because you have to fill in evaluation forms after this. [bribes!!!]

[and, finally, one of my favourite Daniel quotes from my first year]: We’re all living in the Da Vinci Code!!!