Dear cell phone
I love you – I really do. I’m quite sentimental over you due to the fact that you were purchased while we were on honeymoon last year. However, you better get your act together. Yesterday you froze and didn’t allow me to use Opera Mini, and I had to resort to uninstalling and then reinstalling the application. Now, this morning, you don’t want to send and receive my e-mails! Just remember that you are easily replaceable…
Checking for a new phone
Dear guy who attended aqua aerobics for the first time last night
I’m very happy that you decided to do something about your excessive bulk and join the gym to better your lifestyle. Aqua aerobics (aka the splash class) is a fun workout that always leaves me feeling refreshed afterwards, and I hope that you’ll learn to enjoy it as well. BUT, nearly ramming into me and constantly getting in the way sort of ruined my evening, making the exercise feel useless and causing me to feel like an idiot when the instructor keeps looking over at us. One thing you should know about me: I looove contemplating murder. Just a thought.
Stay out of my way
Thanks for being my little fur-baby! I’m so glad that you’ve been more loving of late, although I’m not sure what’s so alluring about my post-workout scent that makes you want to cuddle up next to me, or the taste of chlorine water that you lick off of my foot/ankle…
Love & hugs,
Your human mommy
Dear Significant Other
Bzzz-bzzz-bzzzzzz. That is all 😉
Oodles of love,
Thank you for making my evenings sooo much better and greatly entertaining! Nothing goes better with my thoughts about murder, despair and all things macabre in general than watching you guys blowing stuff up. Nearly done with season 5 – three more seasons (and plenty of explosions) to go!
Keep blowing stuff it up,
A big fan
Get your rear in gear and work on your book review site!!!
No more excuses