Hullo faithful readers!
I apologize most profusely for not blogging since… wow… it’s almost been a week already, hasn’t it? *slightly embarrassed face*
I don’t really have a good excuse. I’ve been spending my time reading… Oh, wait – that’s a pretty good reason to me!! 😉 I’m having lots of fun reading on my NOOK, and I’ve become so used to it that I wonder how it’ll feel to read a ‘real’ book again. I actually started reading Glenn Cooper’s THE TENTH CHAMBER yesterday, bought myself the book (a ‘real’ book, at a bookstore), yet I cannot seem to get into the story… which is kind of sucky, since I’ve been longing to read it after finishing his first two books in August
Anyway, it’s pretty darn hot over here. Feels like my brain is turning into mush. So, instead of typing out an entire post (i.e. blogging myself), I’m going to post some jokes I received in my e-mail inbox from my older sister. Hope you all have a lovely Tuesday!
(Corny/ lame, I know...)
Dear people who say they’re a ninja when they catch things after dropping them
Ninja’s don’t drop things.
Sincerely, a ninja
Dear Lady Gaga
It’s okay. I have a st-tuttering problem too.
Sincerely, P-p-p-porky the P-p-pig
Dear old men at the gym
Wearing short shorts does not make your manhood look any more attractive.
Sincerely, the world
Dear Peter Pan
Sneaking around a child’s bedroom and inviting them to Neverland? Been there, done that.
Sincerely, Michael Jackson
Dear 16 and pregnant
Thanks for helping me feel better about my life.
Sincerely, 21 and single
Dear man in the car picking his nose
Please realize that just because you are in your car doesn’t mean that you are hidden from the world.
Sincerely, I can see you
Dear skin-coloured band aids
Please make one for every skin colour.
Sincerely, black people
Dear future employer
Please ignore those Facebook photos from college. I can explain.
That’s not a light at the end of a tunnel, that’s the train.
Dear girls making kissy faces on MySpace and Facebook
There’s a reason we close our eyes when we kiss.
The fact that you cover yourselves up with icing says a lot about your self-esteem.
Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever ‘The Circle of Life’ plays.
Sincerely, a Lion King enthusiast
Dear Fox News
So far, no news about foxes.
Dear Short People
No I don’t play basketball, do you play miniature golf?
Sincerely, tall people
We could have sword you said the ark wasn’t leaving ‘til 5.
Dear Twilight fans
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have not blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic
Dear J.K. Rowling
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
So they screwed up your nose too?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” Just saying…
Dear girls who have been dumped
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Dear Justin Bieber
Ariel would really lover her voice back.
Sincerely, King Triton
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Dear windshield wipers
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely, that little triangle
Dear Taylor Swift
If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Rubik’s Cube
Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho’s.
Sincerely, Tiger Woods
Dear boys wearing skinny jeans
I… Can’t… Breathe…
Sincerely, your balls